The Feeling about Being Deceived

I just awared that I have been deceived for several months. This feeling is really terrible and I still can’t let bygones be bygones so far. I felt like a total outsider between our relationship. I still don’t understand why she doesn’t want to tell me what’s going on. She can just let me know and I understand she did so just for living. Am I not one of her good friends? I think I do give a lot of suggestions and supports when she was in trouble. I think she is my friend and I try to do anything I can to assist her. And look what I got now apart from being kept in the dark. Just tell me how you will feel if you were me. I feel I was a fool and I trust her too much. I just don’t know why she keeps this secret until now. Why she never wonders I will be aware of it one day. No secret can be kept forever. I really felt awful and it is because I think she is my good friend. From now on, I will consider that she is just a normal friend of mine. And she doesn’t deserve my friendliness after all.